I've read that creating a new habit takes 21 days to accomplish. Old habits are hard to break. I am a creature of habit. I never make it to the 7 days in a row, much less 21! 21 days!?? Really? If I could just try harder to do one good thing habitually for 21 days, I could create a new healthy habit. I'll have to try that...
Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? Breaking up is hard to do. Hard to get out of that comfort zone – what you’re used to, even if it’s not good for you.
I used to be a smoker. I smoked until I became pregnant with my daughter. Quitting wasn't the hardest thing to do, nor was it the easiest. But I had a higher reason than just for myself. Why is it we have such a hard time doing something good for ourselves? At least some of us do. Some of us cannot even manage doing something good and healthy for our kids. If I cared more about her future and her being clutter free, then I'd set the example, right? If I want her to have a healthy, fit future, then I'd be in prime shape, right? She is the perfect size and weight for her age - she's as healthy as they come and I used to be in perfect shape at 10, also. But then, at 29, I got married, by 30 I was pregnant and figured that meant I could eat whatever and however much my body craved. Well, only about half that gain left me when I downloaded my daughter and I hung on to the rest of the weight. Plus, part of it has crept back up on me. Go figure. Ok, it didn't creep in. Yeah - more like I ate my way back up and exercised less. At what point did I stop caring how I looked, how I felt, my energy level?
We treat ourselves and spoil ourselves with whatever we want to eat, whenever, however much we want, and then complain when we've gained 50 pounds, as if it's someone else's fault. They forced me to eat that! Right? So, now, we get the tumultuous task of slimming ourselves, placing ourselves on the treadmill, trying to run and shake the weight off as violently as we can, so that we can fit into that size 5 pair of jeans we've been holding on to for 10 years. Don't get defensive. I'm talking about me. We did this to ourselves and now, if we do actually make the choice to be healthier, then it is up to only ourselves to get back on track and get our rears in gear.
Tips to slim down:
*Half the portions than normally eaten. Cut it in half. A serving is flat as you
can get it and about the size of a deck of cards.
*Using a saucer rather than a lunch or dinner plate will help with this.
*No seconds.
*Cut back on the sugar. I didn't say you couldn't have any, but pace yourself.
*Remember the goal - every time you start to put something in your mouth - remember
the goal.
*Integrate healthier food items such as fruits, veggies, fish high in omega-3.
*Less or no red meat and
*Try switching to skim milk instead of 1%, 2% or whole milk.
I had a real problem when my mom first switched our family to skim. I think I was about 14. It was like drinking milky water. Wasn't happy about it but now, I LOVE IT and cannot go near whole milk ever again. I will drink 1% or 2% if the store is out of skim but I don't like it as well.
This past Friday marked the end of the first three weeks. Weighed in at 169, which is just not good at all, but at least I did not gain, which is what I was expecting. I was weak. We celebrated three birthdays at work and so, of course, everyone brought food. I made brownies. There was peach cobbler, fruit trifle, peanut butter rice krispie treats, pigs in blankets (which would make a great description of me on that day), deer sausage, lemon pie, m&ms, need I go on? I’m sure it’s not helping you to hear of these fantastically fattening foods, nor is it helping me. Looking back, I started out strong. I told myself I was going to drop off the brownies, come back later and sing happy bday and go back to my desk without food. I WAS going to be good. Then, I saw plates full of mouth-watering treats walking down the halls. I figured, “oh, one little taste won’t hurt.” That’s when I decided to sabotage my efforts. And no, I did not just get one little taste, either.
I met my best bud for breakfast this morning and I usually go all out on breakfast. You know, the 2 or 3 pancakes with blueberries on top, a couple of eggs over medium and a couple of strips of bacon on the side, with my oj and bottomless cup of coffee. Not today. I’d already reached my coffee quota before leaving home, so no more for the rest of the day. I planned to have a veggie omelet or something off the healthy part of the menu if there actually was such a thing, no bacon, no pancakes, just orange juice and something a little healthier to eat. I did good. Had a glass of oj and an egg substitute veggie omelet with fresh fruit on the side (they did have a healthy place on the menu).
I am a bit more clutter-free! My bathroom shines and sparkles. I took everything out of drawers, medicine cabinet, under-the-sink cabinet, everything off shelves. I not only scrubbed the toilet, sink and tub, but I scrubbed the walls, doors, floor and baseboards. I threw away old makeup, lipstick, eyeliner, etc. Just a side note regarding that. Makeup starts to grow bacteria after about 3 months of use, so it’s a good idea to throw out the stuff you know you have had at least that long or longer.
I’m a little pleased with myself for working on the clutter but not very proud of my weight-loss, nor my effort, nor my fitness level this week. I have no one to blame but me. I am going to try harder this week. It hasn’t helped that I haven’t tracked my calorie consumption for the last week. I’m sure that if I had, there would have been more weight lost this past week. Oh well, time to put on my big girl panties and deal with myself. The next post will be more positive, because I’m going to work harder on myself this week.
27 more days to be clutter free.
90 days to be fit and 135 (173-169=loss of 4 lbs total, and 169-135=losing 34 lbs in just a little over 12 weeks? Looks like I’m going to have to do a juice fast this week. I did this a few years ago and I lasted about 4 days. 4 pounds lost in 4 days. I went to a medical website and got the instructions. I only consumed water, fruit juice and vegetable juice. I made sure to get the juice 100% pure, not from concentrate – less sugar and preservatives. It was soooo hard to do but well worth it. Hunger pains stopped on the 3rd day. Lost weight, had the best sleep of my life on the 3rd night of the fast, and entered a state of euphoria and an energy surge on the 4th day. I’m going to try to do the fast for at least that long starting tomorrow, although hopefully for 5 days, then eating a small healthy meal on Friday night. Will let you know how it goes.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Little Bummed...
Wow, this past Thursday, I had done so well. I actually reached 165 - a total loss of 8 pounds in almost 2 weeks! I couldn't believe it. Mostly due to cutting back on sugar and saying NO to the doughnuts a co-worker brought for breakfast, plus counting the daily calories of everything I put into my mouth, trying to keep it down to around 1200.
THEN, Aunt Flo from Red China decides to pay me an unexpected visit, causing me to put on several pounds of that glorious water weight we females just love. Thanks, Aunt Flo! 'preciate it! So, now I'm back up to a hefty 171. Ain't that a *B*? I tried a diuretic to download some of it, but just didn't do the trick. I did not even give any thought to how 'Aunt Flo' might possibly put a kink in my plans.
That's life, as they say. Could be worse, I suppose. It can always be worse, huh? I could be miserably depressed, just throw my hands up in the air and give up, but that would be a weak, very unfollowthru thing to do, now wouldn't it? And I am trying to learn how to be a stronger-minded, more follow-thru kind of person. A thinner, healthier me. A clutter-free, flat-bellied me. So, not giving up today. I'll just deal with Aunt Flo and go about eating my 1200 cals a day, even though I'd kill for a Hershey bar or that bag of kisses in the pantry.
Why is it we crave chocolate more during these times? I actually read that it's caused by a lack of magnesium in our blood, creating the crave for chocolate, which is chock full of magnesium, but the flavor and euphoria it gives us ain't bad, either.
I've noticed since cutting down on the sugar, my face is much clearer. Yes, I'm 41 and I continue to struggle with acne. You'd think once the teen years pass, you wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. WRONG! At least cutting back on sugar is helping, plus drinking more water. And I'm sure eating healthier is helping a bit, too.
The plan for the week is to work my buns on the treadmill and to several aerobix tapes and perhaps I'll throw in my yoga tape for a day. I'll be setting up my weight bench and doing some flies, curls, side lifts, etc., to strengthen my arms, so - when I stop waving, my arms stop flapping in the breeze. I tell ya, a strong wind is gonna swing through and I will take flight with the wings of my arms! Might sound kind o' cool, but it AIN'T. I'm too young to have granny-arms and it's time to rid myself of those suckers.
Must admit, have not done my exercising for this week. My bad, I know. As of now, I suppose I'm back at just losing a total of 2 lbs. (173 to 171). I'll be back on track after Aunt Flo LEAVES!
A little tip for those of you that would like to cut the calories but still have yummy snacks. We LOVE Oscar Mayer turkey bacon! Do you know that it's only like 35 calories per slice? Plus, the Special K chocolatey pretzel bars, I could OD on, and they're only 90 per bar. The Fire Roasted Tomato Triscuits are so FINE and they are about 120 calories for 6 crackers. I've gotten several people at work addicted to these. I love snacking on Honey Wheat pretzel rods and you can have 10 of them for around 110 calories. And, of course, the Activia yogurt is 120 calories per cup.
I thought it would be challenging to keep my calorie quota down to 1200 per day, but it's a lot like budgeting money. When you are trying to track your monthly expenses to enlighten you on where all your money is going, you write down every cent when you spend it. The date, the amount of money spent and what you are purchasing. I did this one month a few years ago when I couldn't figure out where all my money was going. Come to find out, I was spending over $300 a month at one particular coffee house. Yes, I'm a coffee junkie and no, I'm not giving it up but I've cut back considerably. I wasn't just buying breve lattes and cappuccino. I was buying fruit & yogurt parfaits with homemade granola for breakfast and veggie burger wraps at lunch. This was a valuable lesson in spending and I cut out the breakfast and lunch buying (brought lunch from home instead) and limited myself on the coffee consumption (from a pot a day to about 3-6 cups at home or work = free). I do still have my occasional breve', but only once or twice a week.
As for the clutter, my office is still not finished. Must admit, I have not been working on this daily. No good excuse. I could say I haven't had the time, with working full-time, coming home to cooking supper, cleaning the kitchen, helping with homework, etc., quality time with my daughter, but that would not be truthful. The fact is, I have not MADE time. I usually try to get up around 3am. Yes, I said 3am. I'm usually so worn out with my STRESSFUL job (more like stressful people!), that we go to bed around 8 or 830pm (depending on homework load and amount of studying needed), which allows me enough sleep to get up earlier, but haven't done that enough this past week to get much accomplished. I have invested a little bit of time, so at least my kitchen is organized, my bedroom is more organized and my office is coming along. Still need to go thru the cabinets in the bathroom and throw some stuff out, put up some things in the living room, work in the laundry room/storage room and my daughter's room is more organized. She did a good job! Donated several items to Goodwill. Office still needs some quality time.
Counting down, today makes the 15th day since starting this project, so I have 35 days left to be clutter free (started with 49) and 98 days left to get fit and weigh 135 lbs (started with 112 days and 173 lbs). Can she do it? I ask myself that every day...
Ok. Yes, I can and Yes, I will. Pressing on...
THEN, Aunt Flo from Red China decides to pay me an unexpected visit, causing me to put on several pounds of that glorious water weight we females just love. Thanks, Aunt Flo! 'preciate it! So, now I'm back up to a hefty 171. Ain't that a *B*? I tried a diuretic to download some of it, but just didn't do the trick. I did not even give any thought to how 'Aunt Flo' might possibly put a kink in my plans.
That's life, as they say. Could be worse, I suppose. It can always be worse, huh? I could be miserably depressed, just throw my hands up in the air and give up, but that would be a weak, very unfollowthru thing to do, now wouldn't it? And I am trying to learn how to be a stronger-minded, more follow-thru kind of person. A thinner, healthier me. A clutter-free, flat-bellied me. So, not giving up today. I'll just deal with Aunt Flo and go about eating my 1200 cals a day, even though I'd kill for a Hershey bar or that bag of kisses in the pantry.
Why is it we crave chocolate more during these times? I actually read that it's caused by a lack of magnesium in our blood, creating the crave for chocolate, which is chock full of magnesium, but the flavor and euphoria it gives us ain't bad, either.
I've noticed since cutting down on the sugar, my face is much clearer. Yes, I'm 41 and I continue to struggle with acne. You'd think once the teen years pass, you wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. WRONG! At least cutting back on sugar is helping, plus drinking more water. And I'm sure eating healthier is helping a bit, too.
The plan for the week is to work my buns on the treadmill and to several aerobix tapes and perhaps I'll throw in my yoga tape for a day. I'll be setting up my weight bench and doing some flies, curls, side lifts, etc., to strengthen my arms, so - when I stop waving, my arms stop flapping in the breeze. I tell ya, a strong wind is gonna swing through and I will take flight with the wings of my arms! Might sound kind o' cool, but it AIN'T. I'm too young to have granny-arms and it's time to rid myself of those suckers.
Must admit, have not done my exercising for this week. My bad, I know. As of now, I suppose I'm back at just losing a total of 2 lbs. (173 to 171). I'll be back on track after Aunt Flo LEAVES!
A little tip for those of you that would like to cut the calories but still have yummy snacks. We LOVE Oscar Mayer turkey bacon! Do you know that it's only like 35 calories per slice? Plus, the Special K chocolatey pretzel bars, I could OD on, and they're only 90 per bar. The Fire Roasted Tomato Triscuits are so FINE and they are about 120 calories for 6 crackers. I've gotten several people at work addicted to these. I love snacking on Honey Wheat pretzel rods and you can have 10 of them for around 110 calories. And, of course, the Activia yogurt is 120 calories per cup.
I thought it would be challenging to keep my calorie quota down to 1200 per day, but it's a lot like budgeting money. When you are trying to track your monthly expenses to enlighten you on where all your money is going, you write down every cent when you spend it. The date, the amount of money spent and what you are purchasing. I did this one month a few years ago when I couldn't figure out where all my money was going. Come to find out, I was spending over $300 a month at one particular coffee house. Yes, I'm a coffee junkie and no, I'm not giving it up but I've cut back considerably. I wasn't just buying breve lattes and cappuccino. I was buying fruit & yogurt parfaits with homemade granola for breakfast and veggie burger wraps at lunch. This was a valuable lesson in spending and I cut out the breakfast and lunch buying (brought lunch from home instead) and limited myself on the coffee consumption (from a pot a day to about 3-6 cups at home or work = free). I do still have my occasional breve', but only once or twice a week.
As for the clutter, my office is still not finished. Must admit, I have not been working on this daily. No good excuse. I could say I haven't had the time, with working full-time, coming home to cooking supper, cleaning the kitchen, helping with homework, etc., quality time with my daughter, but that would not be truthful. The fact is, I have not MADE time. I usually try to get up around 3am. Yes, I said 3am. I'm usually so worn out with my STRESSFUL job (more like stressful people!), that we go to bed around 8 or 830pm (depending on homework load and amount of studying needed), which allows me enough sleep to get up earlier, but haven't done that enough this past week to get much accomplished. I have invested a little bit of time, so at least my kitchen is organized, my bedroom is more organized and my office is coming along. Still need to go thru the cabinets in the bathroom and throw some stuff out, put up some things in the living room, work in the laundry room/storage room and my daughter's room is more organized. She did a good job! Donated several items to Goodwill. Office still needs some quality time.
Counting down, today makes the 15th day since starting this project, so I have 35 days left to be clutter free (started with 49) and 98 days left to get fit and weigh 135 lbs (started with 112 days and 173 lbs). Can she do it? I ask myself that every day...
Ok. Yes, I can and Yes, I will. Pressing on...
Friday, January 15, 2010
I'm so excited!
And I just can't hide it! I cooked up some Salmon Croquettes the other night and really thought I'd gained back half a pound the way I shoveled 'em in. I was soooo hungry. The little one was, too, and they were de-lish. I didn't want to get on the scale this morning and I'm sure the scale didn't want me to, either, but it said, happily, that I lost! YES! Ok, not feeling like such a complete failure for a change. Maybe I can actually do this?
Since I started this blog a few days ago, I'm more mindful of how much I weigh EACH DAY, even though everyone tells you not to do that. It's the only way I can control the numbers. If I gain, then I make myself eat less. If I lose, I either continue to eat less or at least count my calories thru the day. I don't count the fat and sugar grams so much, as I do the calories. I just don't have the time to check every little thing. Plus, I'm drinking a lot more water. I don't normally get my 8 glasses of 8oz daily, but I am drinking more, which helps me fill up faster, so I'm not as hungry throughout the day - I'm snacking less, but still snacking. ;)
Wanted to share a couple of nice snack items for when you are hungry throughout the day. The Special K Chocolatey Pretzel bar is OUT OF THIS WORLD and it's only 90 calories - Awesome! The kiddo and I both love them for breakfast-on-the-run, snack, dessert, whatever - sooo yummy. Also, a handful of raw almonds a day is great for you. I try not to totally freak when I see the number of calories of fat content if I know it's healthy for my body. The almonds are also quite filling, even if it is just one handful. Kids love them, too.
Exercise? Don’t get me started on this one. I’ve been a bad girl. So, whoop me.
Clutter-free? No, not yet, but still working on it. It’s so hard to get up early in the morning but now that my daughter’s spelling bee is over, no more late nights studying over 300 words – some I’ve never even heard of!
So, for the record, I did cheat. I made a deal with myself to not have choc till I lost 5 lbs. Then, I’d allow myself a bite, like a kiss or a miniature or choc covered toffee, choc covered cherry – a bite. I admit, I had 2 pieces…YES! 2 PIECES, OK?! …of choc covered toffee. I felt guilty but it was sure FINE! ;) I tell you, I could have eaten that whole honkin’ bag, but I did NOT. I was feeling depressed like I let myself down and weighed in this morning and actually LOST???!! I have lost 2.5 lbs for this week, which isn’t the 3 lbs I wanted to lose but I did make myself a deal that it could be 2.5 to 3 lbs per week, so I’m on schedule. Yes, I could have lost 3 had I not chowed down on all the Salmon Croquettes and 2 pieces of choc covered toffee. I will do better. I will integrate more time to exercise and clean out the clutter. I have cleared a lot in my office and at least my kitchen is clutter-free!!
Let’s see now: 42 more days to go to be clutter-free. 105 more days to weigh in at 135 (now 170.5) and have a more toned bod. I can do this. I can do this. I can...do...this.
Since I started this blog a few days ago, I'm more mindful of how much I weigh EACH DAY, even though everyone tells you not to do that. It's the only way I can control the numbers. If I gain, then I make myself eat less. If I lose, I either continue to eat less or at least count my calories thru the day. I don't count the fat and sugar grams so much, as I do the calories. I just don't have the time to check every little thing. Plus, I'm drinking a lot more water. I don't normally get my 8 glasses of 8oz daily, but I am drinking more, which helps me fill up faster, so I'm not as hungry throughout the day - I'm snacking less, but still snacking. ;)
Wanted to share a couple of nice snack items for when you are hungry throughout the day. The Special K Chocolatey Pretzel bar is OUT OF THIS WORLD and it's only 90 calories - Awesome! The kiddo and I both love them for breakfast-on-the-run, snack, dessert, whatever - sooo yummy. Also, a handful of raw almonds a day is great for you. I try not to totally freak when I see the number of calories of fat content if I know it's healthy for my body. The almonds are also quite filling, even if it is just one handful. Kids love them, too.
Exercise? Don’t get me started on this one. I’ve been a bad girl. So, whoop me.
Clutter-free? No, not yet, but still working on it. It’s so hard to get up early in the morning but now that my daughter’s spelling bee is over, no more late nights studying over 300 words – some I’ve never even heard of!
So, for the record, I did cheat. I made a deal with myself to not have choc till I lost 5 lbs. Then, I’d allow myself a bite, like a kiss or a miniature or choc covered toffee, choc covered cherry – a bite. I admit, I had 2 pieces…YES! 2 PIECES, OK?! …of choc covered toffee. I felt guilty but it was sure FINE! ;) I tell you, I could have eaten that whole honkin’ bag, but I did NOT. I was feeling depressed like I let myself down and weighed in this morning and actually LOST???!! I have lost 2.5 lbs for this week, which isn’t the 3 lbs I wanted to lose but I did make myself a deal that it could be 2.5 to 3 lbs per week, so I’m on schedule. Yes, I could have lost 3 had I not chowed down on all the Salmon Croquettes and 2 pieces of choc covered toffee. I will do better. I will integrate more time to exercise and clean out the clutter. I have cleared a lot in my office and at least my kitchen is clutter-free!!
Let’s see now: 42 more days to go to be clutter-free. 105 more days to weigh in at 135 (now 170.5) and have a more toned bod. I can do this. I can do this. I can...do...this.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Was discouraged but back on track today
It's the fourth day into this thing and, yesterday, I was feeling a little down. I had gained 1/2 a pound back. Perhaps not a big deal to you. I mean, it's just 1/2 a pound, right? Well, it was due to my fat-filled 3 meals on Sunday and I paid for it. I knew better.
I didn't make time for exercising nor cleaning yesterday. Didn't get up early enough and had too much to do with the kiddo in the evening. Aren't Mondays the worst? Oh well.
I'm back on track, sort of, this morning. I lost the 1/2 a pound, since I skimped on breakfast and supper yesterday. I had a decent lunch, so now, back at 171 and will work hard to hit 170 by Friday, since my goal is 2.5 to 3 pounds per week. I feel like I can do it, especially since I'm giving myself enough time to get there. I mean, I've got 3 more days to lose one pound. I believe that's totally doable. I'll get my rear in gear tonight. Cleaned some more of the office. My daughter is very impressed with how much I've done. She offered me a compliment and I must say, it was very reassuring, which helps A TON! Positive feedback is always welcome and uplifting.
Looking forward to today while I've already had my 180 calorie breakfast plus my coffee, perhaps a packet of ketchup for lunch and nibbling on a paper towel for fiber for supper. I'm so jealous that my daughter gets to eat these delicious meals that I so enjoy cooking, while savoring the aromas, DO NOT GET TO HELP HER EAT! ~sniff~ That's ok. ~sniff~ She's not the one who needs to suffer. I've spent years of overeating, eating junk, and not exercising, so I should not complain that I've placed myself in this predicament. Right? Right. So, sucking it up and moving on.
Four more days to get my office organized? Hope I can do it.
I didn't make time for exercising nor cleaning yesterday. Didn't get up early enough and had too much to do with the kiddo in the evening. Aren't Mondays the worst? Oh well.
I'm back on track, sort of, this morning. I lost the 1/2 a pound, since I skimped on breakfast and supper yesterday. I had a decent lunch, so now, back at 171 and will work hard to hit 170 by Friday, since my goal is 2.5 to 3 pounds per week. I feel like I can do it, especially since I'm giving myself enough time to get there. I mean, I've got 3 more days to lose one pound. I believe that's totally doable. I'll get my rear in gear tonight. Cleaned some more of the office. My daughter is very impressed with how much I've done. She offered me a compliment and I must say, it was very reassuring, which helps A TON! Positive feedback is always welcome and uplifting.
Looking forward to today while I've already had my 180 calorie breakfast plus my coffee, perhaps a packet of ketchup for lunch and nibbling on a paper towel for fiber for supper. I'm so jealous that my daughter gets to eat these delicious meals that I so enjoy cooking, while savoring the aromas, DO NOT GET TO HELP HER EAT! ~sniff~ That's ok. ~sniff~ She's not the one who needs to suffer. I've spent years of overeating, eating junk, and not exercising, so I should not complain that I've placed myself in this predicament. Right? Right. So, sucking it up and moving on.
Four more days to get my office organized? Hope I can do it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 2 - On a roll. Can I have a roll?
No, I did not have a roll.
I have done fairly well today. I beat down the scale and although it did gasp for air, it didn't scream for me to get off this time. Down 2 pounds. Probably water weight, but hey, weight is weight and I'll take it.
A fat-filled breakfast - one french toast and 2 pieces of bacon, which is better than my normal 2 pieces of FT and 7 pieces of bacon. And, of course, my coffee. Not too bad, though.
Panini for lunch - YUM! Me loves me some panini. Made me a happy camper. Wanted chocolate but did not weaken, yet. So far, so good.
Chili for sup and glass of skim milk. Don't worry, no chocolate syrup.
And I did do the small glass of milk and cup of blueberry yogurt for supper last night. Tasty. Not exactly a Big Mac & fries or easy peasy cheesy pizza or chicken piccata (my all time fave), but I still enjoyed my yogurt. I'm so proud, I actually removed the Kisses from my desk and placed them in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind, a little. Choc never strays far from the mind but it is much better to not see it. You always think about your drug.
We (the kiddo joined in) added 5 minutes to the workout doing our 25 dancing and pumping to MTV's The Grind Workout Hip Hop Aerobics. I had not done aerobics in so long, I'd forgotten how much fun it was. At least, the Grind tapes are. Fun for the both of us and getting our rears in gear at the same time, although the little one does not need any help in that department. Thin, tall thing!
Tomorrow, I'm thinking maybe Buns and Abs of Steel? Or maybe something different. We'll see. And I'll do my best to steer clear of any chocolate, k?
Cleaned some more in the office today. It's so freeing to throw out the junk. I feel so much lighter already, just because the room is less full. So far, I've thrown away about 4 or 5 kitchen garbage bags full and I'm now working on a construction garbage bag and it's about 1/3 parts full.
Putting things in their places. Tossing out the superfluous papers I know I don't need, donating things to the Goodwill bags (we dropped off 3 bags on Saturday) in the hallway. I need to go through these two bookcases along with the stacks of books on each side and donate what I no longer need.
I cannot believe what a packrat I am. I know partly what it stems from - my childhood and my biological father stealing many valuables from my room when he left us, my brother reading my diary and making it a public spectacle, so now I suppose I just want to cling to things that are mine and no one can take away from me? Oh, I don't know. Makes no sense. I'm so scared I'm going to miss something, something I wrote on a piece of paper, and another piece, and another, so I have to keep them all, adding up to a stockpile of heaping stacks of paper monsters that I am very nightmarish over attacking me when I walk past, or since they do reproduce, they'll eventually make it to my bedroom and get me in my sleep! Ok, maybe I was melodramatic just a bit, but I do save needless things, papers, catalogs, magazines, so many things that just add to my already bulging and overflowing baggage, more to stress me, more, more, more - this girl needs HELP!
Well, that's exactly why I'm doing this. I've devised a plan, albeit flying by the seat of my pants, mostly. I'm taking teensy baby steps each day to lose weight, get in shape, get my house organized and blog about it, which is actually therapeutic in a way. Perhaps only one or two peeps will read it and that's ok. It's my way of downloading some of my baggage, I suppose. I'm feeling better already.
C-ya 2 morrow. Nighty night.
I have done fairly well today. I beat down the scale and although it did gasp for air, it didn't scream for me to get off this time. Down 2 pounds. Probably water weight, but hey, weight is weight and I'll take it.
A fat-filled breakfast - one french toast and 2 pieces of bacon, which is better than my normal 2 pieces of FT and 7 pieces of bacon. And, of course, my coffee. Not too bad, though.
Panini for lunch - YUM! Me loves me some panini. Made me a happy camper. Wanted chocolate but did not weaken, yet. So far, so good.
Chili for sup and glass of skim milk. Don't worry, no chocolate syrup.
And I did do the small glass of milk and cup of blueberry yogurt for supper last night. Tasty. Not exactly a Big Mac & fries or easy peasy cheesy pizza or chicken piccata (my all time fave), but I still enjoyed my yogurt. I'm so proud, I actually removed the Kisses from my desk and placed them in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind, a little. Choc never strays far from the mind but it is much better to not see it. You always think about your drug.
We (the kiddo joined in) added 5 minutes to the workout doing our 25 dancing and pumping to MTV's The Grind Workout Hip Hop Aerobics. I had not done aerobics in so long, I'd forgotten how much fun it was. At least, the Grind tapes are. Fun for the both of us and getting our rears in gear at the same time, although the little one does not need any help in that department. Thin, tall thing!
Tomorrow, I'm thinking maybe Buns and Abs of Steel? Or maybe something different. We'll see. And I'll do my best to steer clear of any chocolate, k?
Cleaned some more in the office today. It's so freeing to throw out the junk. I feel so much lighter already, just because the room is less full. So far, I've thrown away about 4 or 5 kitchen garbage bags full and I'm now working on a construction garbage bag and it's about 1/3 parts full.
Putting things in their places. Tossing out the superfluous papers I know I don't need, donating things to the Goodwill bags (we dropped off 3 bags on Saturday) in the hallway. I need to go through these two bookcases along with the stacks of books on each side and donate what I no longer need.
I cannot believe what a packrat I am. I know partly what it stems from - my childhood and my biological father stealing many valuables from my room when he left us, my brother reading my diary and making it a public spectacle, so now I suppose I just want to cling to things that are mine and no one can take away from me? Oh, I don't know. Makes no sense. I'm so scared I'm going to miss something, something I wrote on a piece of paper, and another piece, and another, so I have to keep them all, adding up to a stockpile of heaping stacks of paper monsters that I am very nightmarish over attacking me when I walk past, or since they do reproduce, they'll eventually make it to my bedroom and get me in my sleep! Ok, maybe I was melodramatic just a bit, but I do save needless things, papers, catalogs, magazines, so many things that just add to my already bulging and overflowing baggage, more to stress me, more, more, more - this girl needs HELP!
Well, that's exactly why I'm doing this. I've devised a plan, albeit flying by the seat of my pants, mostly. I'm taking teensy baby steps each day to lose weight, get in shape, get my house organized and blog about it, which is actually therapeutic in a way. Perhaps only one or two peeps will read it and that's ok. It's my way of downloading some of my baggage, I suppose. I'm feeling better already.
C-ya 2 morrow. Nighty night.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day One - I did it!
Yes, I did! I got up off my sedentary big fat butt and got it moving, on the treadmill, that is. 20 minutes between 3.8 and 4.0 miles per hour. Yeah, it ain't a frickin' marathon but hey, at least I did something and for longer than 5 minutes. It was a brisk walk.
Never been able to pace myself when it comes to running, although I wouldn't mind learning. I'm sure if I had a bear behind me, I could certainly haul ass but just to run for the heck of it or for fitness reasons...I just can't catch a rhythm. It's like I start panicking, freaking out.
Even when it came to my eval run in Basic, I did the 1.5 miles in 10.36 minutes. I'm a slow poke. I kept having to stop. I hyperventilate - don't know how to breathe. The T.I. only let you stop if you were going to blow chunks or pass out. Well, I played drama queen and acted as if I was going to toss my cookies just in order for me to catch my breath. At least I passed my eval. I still feel bad for the girls that were straggling behind and had to graduate with a different flight, since one suffered from tendonitis and the other from shin splints. They stayed in Med Hold while the rest of us graduated and went to Tech School.
Well, I had tendonitis, too, but I wasn't about to complain. I waited till I got to Tech School, then went to Sick Call and got a waiver from marching to class. I got a free ride, Baby! Yeah! Got to ride the bus to class while I watched the majority marching in the freezing cold!!! Hey, I had a good excuse. I mean, you couldn't even see my ankles from all the swelling and it was quite painful to walk, much less march. I had a blue rope T.I., which supposedly means "the best of the best" and he made us DIG our combat boot wearing heels into the frickin' 200 degree pavement ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG! I had a hot bod when I graduated but my ankles were really killing me. I sucked it up. Never told a soul till I left Lackland. Wow! Memories. That was a long time ago.
Anyway, I did it. I did the treadmill for 20 and tomorrow, I may do an aerobix tape or a Grind tape or I don't know what, but I'll think o' that tomorro', as Ms. Scarlet would say.
Oh! Oh! Oh! And (as you can tell, I'm quite pleased with myself at the moment) I have not had one tiny bit of chocolate ALL DAY! I had a granola bar for breakfast with half a pot of coffee. YUM! I had Steak Escape for lunch (not the healthiest, I know), but it was FINE nonetheless! LOVE the Grandest Chicken on wheat with the spicy mustard. MAN!!!! Oh, let's see. A Breve' Latte' from Seattle Drip on the way home today from getting groceries. No sweetener, ever! Not in my Breve'. After I got off the treadmill, I had some grape juice. For supper, I'll probably have a tall glass of skim milk and I'm seriously debating on stirring in some Hershey's chocolate syrup. I could drink it straight out of the bottle, I tell ya, but I swear I won't. I don't believe in completely depriving oneself from all ecstasy just because one is eating better, eating less and exercising more. I think I should be allowed a tiny something and if it's just one tablespoon of chocolate syrup mixed in milk, that's not too bad, right? Ok, ya know what, I'll have a small glass of skim milk, no chocolate. I'm going to have at least one full day of saying NO to my addiction. I can do this. I am a strong person...most of the time. I don't NEED the chocolate. Not really hungry (that's a switch!) for any food for supper, but I'll probably have something teeny, maybe a cup of yogurt? Not sure. Ya know, I'm not a big yogurt fan, but ever since I tried the Activia (peach is awesome. cherry is great. blueberry is heaven), I'm addicted. Tastes like fruity pudding, not at all like yogurt, at least not to me. It's FINE! I eat it like it's dessert. I'll eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack.
As for the clutter, I did tackle part of the office, as I said I would. I actually went thru an entire higgledy piggledy stack of magazines that was about to topple over and do you know where that stack is now? File 13! Oh yeah! I opened a file on my computer and typed in the ones I'd like to order from, made me a list of the websites and threw the catalogs in the garbage. Although, I admit I saved a couple of the King Arthur Flour and Williams Sonoma catalogs. They had some cool sounding recipes in them that I'd like to try and I'll make my very best effort to try those recipes some time this month. At least one. ;)
Looking forward to tomorrow. Bundle up! It's gonna be another frozen one 2nite! And this is the South? Honestly! I don't really mind. I like the cold, but if it's gonna be THIS cold, at least bring some snow with ya!
Never been able to pace myself when it comes to running, although I wouldn't mind learning. I'm sure if I had a bear behind me, I could certainly haul ass but just to run for the heck of it or for fitness reasons...I just can't catch a rhythm. It's like I start panicking, freaking out.
Even when it came to my eval run in Basic, I did the 1.5 miles in 10.36 minutes. I'm a slow poke. I kept having to stop. I hyperventilate - don't know how to breathe. The T.I. only let you stop if you were going to blow chunks or pass out. Well, I played drama queen and acted as if I was going to toss my cookies just in order for me to catch my breath. At least I passed my eval. I still feel bad for the girls that were straggling behind and had to graduate with a different flight, since one suffered from tendonitis and the other from shin splints. They stayed in Med Hold while the rest of us graduated and went to Tech School.
Well, I had tendonitis, too, but I wasn't about to complain. I waited till I got to Tech School, then went to Sick Call and got a waiver from marching to class. I got a free ride, Baby! Yeah! Got to ride the bus to class while I watched the majority marching in the freezing cold!!! Hey, I had a good excuse. I mean, you couldn't even see my ankles from all the swelling and it was quite painful to walk, much less march. I had a blue rope T.I., which supposedly means "the best of the best" and he made us DIG our combat boot wearing heels into the frickin' 200 degree pavement ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG! I had a hot bod when I graduated but my ankles were really killing me. I sucked it up. Never told a soul till I left Lackland. Wow! Memories. That was a long time ago.
Anyway, I did it. I did the treadmill for 20 and tomorrow, I may do an aerobix tape or a Grind tape or I don't know what, but I'll think o' that tomorro', as Ms. Scarlet would say.
Oh! Oh! Oh! And (as you can tell, I'm quite pleased with myself at the moment) I have not had one tiny bit of chocolate ALL DAY! I had a granola bar for breakfast with half a pot of coffee. YUM! I had Steak Escape for lunch (not the healthiest, I know), but it was FINE nonetheless! LOVE the Grandest Chicken on wheat with the spicy mustard. MAN!!!! Oh, let's see. A Breve' Latte' from Seattle Drip on the way home today from getting groceries. No sweetener, ever! Not in my Breve'. After I got off the treadmill, I had some grape juice. For supper, I'll probably have a tall glass of skim milk and I'm seriously debating on stirring in some Hershey's chocolate syrup. I could drink it straight out of the bottle, I tell ya, but I swear I won't. I don't believe in completely depriving oneself from all ecstasy just because one is eating better, eating less and exercising more. I think I should be allowed a tiny something and if it's just one tablespoon of chocolate syrup mixed in milk, that's not too bad, right? Ok, ya know what, I'll have a small glass of skim milk, no chocolate. I'm going to have at least one full day of saying NO to my addiction. I can do this. I am a strong person...most of the time. I don't NEED the chocolate. Not really hungry (that's a switch!) for any food for supper, but I'll probably have something teeny, maybe a cup of yogurt? Not sure. Ya know, I'm not a big yogurt fan, but ever since I tried the Activia (peach is awesome. cherry is great. blueberry is heaven), I'm addicted. Tastes like fruity pudding, not at all like yogurt, at least not to me. It's FINE! I eat it like it's dessert. I'll eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack.
As for the clutter, I did tackle part of the office, as I said I would. I actually went thru an entire higgledy piggledy stack of magazines that was about to topple over and do you know where that stack is now? File 13! Oh yeah! I opened a file on my computer and typed in the ones I'd like to order from, made me a list of the websites and threw the catalogs in the garbage. Although, I admit I saved a couple of the King Arthur Flour and Williams Sonoma catalogs. They had some cool sounding recipes in them that I'd like to try and I'll make my very best effort to try those recipes some time this month. At least one. ;)
Looking forward to tomorrow. Bundle up! It's gonna be another frozen one 2nite! And this is the South? Honestly! I don't really mind. I like the cold, but if it's gonna be THIS cold, at least bring some snow with ya!
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Beginning...
Seriously, I must have gone and lost my frickin' mind, because I'm about to start something chaotic, something stressful, something I'm not entirely fond of to begin with.
Oh, I dream of being a clean, clutter-free, organized freak. I love the shows, the articles, the pictures of perfectly decorated, emaculate rooms, with everything in its place and order.
Well, dreams are dreams and my house is more like a nightmare in constant motion and disarray. I aspire to be organized, I do. However, life somehow finds a way to come crashing in loudly with toys, electronics, drums, dirty dishes, pots boiling over, dogs barking, cats meowing, kid whining - leaving a complete and utter disaster - a wreck of chaos and despair in its wake. All my orderly dreams vanished once again. Well, I aspire to be more than just a full-time working mother, chef, maid, seamstress, teacher, blah, blah, blah.
Nope! I need to create more hours in the day (you didn't know I had this power, did you?) to get my 2 major failures accomplished. Well, I've already failed, so that's been accomplished. What I mean to say is the 2 most important goals that I face (as many of us do), that I wish to accomplish, and make a part of my daily lifestyle and that of my child, is getting my home (as well as my LIFE!!!) clutter-free.
This is a process, I know. A slow, gruelling process; but it is my intention - my goal (1st) - to get my home in order, be able to find things, walk through the house without stepping over crap, without knocking over a stack of papers I've collected or mail or magazines, my "reading" stack, my "stuff that needs to be filed" stack, my "maybe I'll order from this catalog one day" stack. GRRR! ARGH! I have read this and that about clutter and I do believe it's caused by something deeper - I have issues. We all have issues. I know this. Waaa! Well, leaving crap everywhere and not being able to find what I'm looking for is not a healthy way to deal with any issue, so it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!
First, I'll deal with the house clutter, and then maybe the life clutter will come later. We'll see. I have 7 rooms in this smallish house and I'm starting with the main 2. My home office and the kitchen. The kitchen is where we spend the majority of our time. I cook a lot. We eat. We bake. We sample. We snack. We talk. We laugh. I check homework. She fixes homework and studies. We draw, write, do crafts, etc. We feed our midget of a pup in the kitchen. I wash dishes (sometimes. sometimes it waits).
The way I've looked at it in the past is "the dishes can wait, my kid can't." It's a true statement, sort of. I mean, my child is #1 in my life and I don't want to miss a moment. Ya blink and they are grown! It's true! So, sometimes the dishes wait, and wait, and wait, but I know...I need to keep the kitchen clean on a daily basis, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
My office will be second, since it's where I keep everything: crafts, file cabinets where I file everything of importance, where I pay and keep bills, various projects, books, magazines, homeschool materials, bible study materials, and just a little some of everything, it seems, winds up in this room. Don't even get me started - this is the most cluttered room in the house and I'm tackling it first (the kitchen is mostly clean today), because it seems when I can somehow find the time to get the other rooms clean and organized at some point during the YEAR, this one room has only been clean and organized maybe once since I've lived here and I've lived here for YEARS!
My time limit on setting the clutter free and reclaiming my home will be from tomorrow (Jan. 9, 2010 - (is it really 2010?!) through Feb 26. That gives me one entire week per room. I think this is quite doable. Don't you? I mean, 7 days per room. 7 rooms. 49 days. Working full-time, kid and animals underfoot, Girl Scout activities, homework, studying, cooking, washing clothes, etc. I think I'm being fair to give myself a week per room. What do you think? Too much? Too little? I am going to give it my best shot.
My 2nd goal along with becoming clutter-free is getting my "she's a mother and over 40" body back into a "hot mama" body. Joining a gym did not work for me. You can actually be a member of a gym and have the company you work for foot the bill. Did you know you have to take your butt to the gym and work it to get it in shape? Did you know if you don't go a certain number of times, you will be paying the fee instead of your company? Even knowing this did not help me get my rear in gear (so to speak).
Oh, I had a medical condition for a few months, blah, blah, blah. Well, not the entire time. It's like going to church. You quit going for a while and it gets easier to not go back. I do remember a time when I actually LOVED working out - every single day. Twice a day, in fact. When I was in the Air Force, and like 24, single and no children. Really seems like a lifetime ago...and then sometimes, seems like just a couple o' years. Time flies and my body is not getting any slimmer by sitting around wishing I was a size 5 again...and eating half a bag of Hershey's Kisses Meltaways!!! I wish I hated chocolate. ~sniff~ It's my strongest weakness, I'm afraid, along with my coffee.
So, I will be starting to get my "rear in gear" tomorrow along with setting the clutter free. How long should I give it?
Let's see, ladies don't normally give out their age, nor their weight. Am I a lady? Hmmmm. I see myself more a girl in a woman's body. So, I'm gonna be honest and open - 41 years old, but really young, most of the time. 173 pounds, but feel 300 - so heavy and tired and depressed with how I look and feel.
When I was a size 5 and 124 pounds, it was the best I've ever felt in my life. I looked great, felt great, had bundles of energy, but I was a bit younger and free back then.
I'm 5'11". You might think that 124 lbs is unreasonable for someone that tall, but I have a medium frame and I never looked skinny, just thin and healthy. Ok, I'll shoot for 135 and go less if I feel the need once I reach that goal. Reasonable? Say, 173 minus 135 = 38 pounds to lose. Most health professionals state losing more than 2 lbs per week isn't healthy, so I'll say 2.5 to 3 lbs per week = 12 to 16 weeks (Apr 3 - May 1). I never was good at listening to my doctor. I don't think 3 lbs per week is too unhealthy. It would be different if I had health issues, I guess, but I don't.
Am I crazy? Can I do it? I have always lacked a sense of follow-through. It's something I've always taught my daughter to practice. I don't want her to have my bad habits. She is my hero. She has that ability - that follow through-ness I lack. I want to be like her when I grow up.
So, tomorrow is the day it begins. I'm afraid. But I'm going to do it.
I really hadn't planned on my first post being so long and drawn out. I wanted to just state my plan and then begin it tomorrow. I suppose I have. As I'm sure you are well aware by now, I tend to ramble, so please bear with me.
Oh, I dream of being a clean, clutter-free, organized freak. I love the shows, the articles, the pictures of perfectly decorated, emaculate rooms, with everything in its place and order.
Well, dreams are dreams and my house is more like a nightmare in constant motion and disarray. I aspire to be organized, I do. However, life somehow finds a way to come crashing in loudly with toys, electronics, drums, dirty dishes, pots boiling over, dogs barking, cats meowing, kid whining - leaving a complete and utter disaster - a wreck of chaos and despair in its wake. All my orderly dreams vanished once again. Well, I aspire to be more than just a full-time working mother, chef, maid, seamstress, teacher, blah, blah, blah.
Nope! I need to create more hours in the day (you didn't know I had this power, did you?) to get my 2 major failures accomplished. Well, I've already failed, so that's been accomplished. What I mean to say is the 2 most important goals that I face (as many of us do), that I wish to accomplish, and make a part of my daily lifestyle and that of my child, is getting my home (as well as my LIFE!!!) clutter-free.
This is a process, I know. A slow, gruelling process; but it is my intention - my goal (1st) - to get my home in order, be able to find things, walk through the house without stepping over crap, without knocking over a stack of papers I've collected or mail or magazines, my "reading" stack, my "stuff that needs to be filed" stack, my "maybe I'll order from this catalog one day" stack. GRRR! ARGH! I have read this and that about clutter and I do believe it's caused by something deeper - I have issues. We all have issues. I know this. Waaa! Well, leaving crap everywhere and not being able to find what I'm looking for is not a healthy way to deal with any issue, so it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!
First, I'll deal with the house clutter, and then maybe the life clutter will come later. We'll see. I have 7 rooms in this smallish house and I'm starting with the main 2. My home office and the kitchen. The kitchen is where we spend the majority of our time. I cook a lot. We eat. We bake. We sample. We snack. We talk. We laugh. I check homework. She fixes homework and studies. We draw, write, do crafts, etc. We feed our midget of a pup in the kitchen. I wash dishes (sometimes. sometimes it waits).
The way I've looked at it in the past is "the dishes can wait, my kid can't." It's a true statement, sort of. I mean, my child is #1 in my life and I don't want to miss a moment. Ya blink and they are grown! It's true! So, sometimes the dishes wait, and wait, and wait, but I know...I need to keep the kitchen clean on a daily basis, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
My office will be second, since it's where I keep everything: crafts, file cabinets where I file everything of importance, where I pay and keep bills, various projects, books, magazines, homeschool materials, bible study materials, and just a little some of everything, it seems, winds up in this room. Don't even get me started - this is the most cluttered room in the house and I'm tackling it first (the kitchen is mostly clean today), because it seems when I can somehow find the time to get the other rooms clean and organized at some point during the YEAR, this one room has only been clean and organized maybe once since I've lived here and I've lived here for YEARS!
My time limit on setting the clutter free and reclaiming my home will be from tomorrow (Jan. 9, 2010 - (is it really 2010?!) through Feb 26. That gives me one entire week per room. I think this is quite doable. Don't you? I mean, 7 days per room. 7 rooms. 49 days. Working full-time, kid and animals underfoot, Girl Scout activities, homework, studying, cooking, washing clothes, etc. I think I'm being fair to give myself a week per room. What do you think? Too much? Too little? I am going to give it my best shot.
My 2nd goal along with becoming clutter-free is getting my "she's a mother and over 40" body back into a "hot mama" body. Joining a gym did not work for me. You can actually be a member of a gym and have the company you work for foot the bill. Did you know you have to take your butt to the gym and work it to get it in shape? Did you know if you don't go a certain number of times, you will be paying the fee instead of your company? Even knowing this did not help me get my rear in gear (so to speak).
Oh, I had a medical condition for a few months, blah, blah, blah. Well, not the entire time. It's like going to church. You quit going for a while and it gets easier to not go back. I do remember a time when I actually LOVED working out - every single day. Twice a day, in fact. When I was in the Air Force, and like 24, single and no children. Really seems like a lifetime ago...and then sometimes, seems like just a couple o' years. Time flies and my body is not getting any slimmer by sitting around wishing I was a size 5 again...and eating half a bag of Hershey's Kisses Meltaways!!! I wish I hated chocolate. ~sniff~ It's my strongest weakness, I'm afraid, along with my coffee.
So, I will be starting to get my "rear in gear" tomorrow along with setting the clutter free. How long should I give it?
Let's see, ladies don't normally give out their age, nor their weight. Am I a lady? Hmmmm. I see myself more a girl in a woman's body. So, I'm gonna be honest and open - 41 years old, but really young, most of the time. 173 pounds, but feel 300 - so heavy and tired and depressed with how I look and feel.
When I was a size 5 and 124 pounds, it was the best I've ever felt in my life. I looked great, felt great, had bundles of energy, but I was a bit younger and free back then.
I'm 5'11". You might think that 124 lbs is unreasonable for someone that tall, but I have a medium frame and I never looked skinny, just thin and healthy. Ok, I'll shoot for 135 and go less if I feel the need once I reach that goal. Reasonable? Say, 173 minus 135 = 38 pounds to lose. Most health professionals state losing more than 2 lbs per week isn't healthy, so I'll say 2.5 to 3 lbs per week = 12 to 16 weeks (Apr 3 - May 1). I never was good at listening to my doctor. I don't think 3 lbs per week is too unhealthy. It would be different if I had health issues, I guess, but I don't.
Am I crazy? Can I do it? I have always lacked a sense of follow-through. It's something I've always taught my daughter to practice. I don't want her to have my bad habits. She is my hero. She has that ability - that follow through-ness I lack. I want to be like her when I grow up.
So, tomorrow is the day it begins. I'm afraid. But I'm going to do it.
I really hadn't planned on my first post being so long and drawn out. I wanted to just state my plan and then begin it tomorrow. I suppose I have. As I'm sure you are well aware by now, I tend to ramble, so please bear with me.
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