Early Saturday morning -
I’ll just get it out in the open and get it over with. I weighed in at 168.5 at the end of the 5th week. Yup, back up 1.5 pounds, so a total loss of 4.5 since I started.
My BFF sent a Valentine’s Box of happies in the mail to us, so that was a good excuse to pack on the pounds pigging out on chocolate. Of course, eating half a bag of chocolate chips that I bought to make my daughter’s favorite pancakes seems to have sweetened my disposition as well as adding a little to the love handles. Ah! - A delicious moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips – dang it!
However, I’m not going to look at this as a failure. I’ve decided it’s not good to deprive one’s self of their favorite flavor/food. It’s just wrong to deny your own person’s innocent desires. Yes, eating half the bag is not innocent. If it makes me look any less guilty, I didn’t do it all in one sitting. I did it over 2 or 3 days time. Does that help? Not really. Ok. Not going to beat myself up over this.
Dieting, indeed, is one of the most difficult tasks we set for ourselves. We become so use to eating what we love, and when it tastes so mouthwateringly delicious, it’s definitely hard to not overeat. When the food tantalizes the taste buds, I admit, I overeat. It’s a party in my mouth!
Do you realize how small an actual portion is? I mean, a deck of cards? That’s teeny, compared to how much ALL of us prefer to consume three times a day, plus snacks in between meals. I mean, it is no wonder that the majority of us are overweight. The medical websites tell me I’m in a healthy range as far as my weight is concerned, since I’m 5’11”, but I believe that’s a bunch of BS. The healthiest I’ve ever felt in my life was when I was 124 lbs and a size 5. I felt great. I looked great and I had tons of energy. I want that back! It is not impossible to get back to that body size, just extremely hard.
I’m just so weak when it comes to food. It’s so easy to not try as hard as we know we should. We work all day and we’re tired. We come home to needing to cook supper, check our kid’s homework, help them study for a test or two, and maybe make an attempt to clean the kitchen afterwards (and I said “maybe”). Then, all we want to do and all we really have time to do after all that is to get in front of the tv with dessert or chips - whatever your taste buds are longing for (mine are usually longing for chocolate) - perhaps squeezing in one game night a week, with our treats on the side. Now, usually, we have an activity or two during the week, but not right now. We are taking a break from activities until May. We do have Girl Scouts but that’s on Saturday.
I do believe if I am going to be serious on this diet, I have to rid this house of anything I might pig out on, like chocolate. My daughter can have some treats, but I’ll have to ask her to only get those things she loves that I don’t. Oh my, I just realized Girl Scout cookies come in today, and I ordered like 9 boxes! What to do?! Let me tell you, I could lose 45 pounds and eat my way back up, just on those Dosidos and Thin Mints!!! I may just have the little one take all the sweets and tell her to hide them in her room.
Why is she so disciplined when it comes to food? She certainly did not get that from me. She must have received that gene from her dad. It could be that I’ve never denied her anything except having a rule that she must eat half of her healthy meal to get rewarded with dessert or junk food, such as chips or popcorn. I know, popcorn is not junk food but it is one of her favorite treats, so to me, that’s a reward. Growing up, I was deprived of many things. I was made to eat things I hated such as English peas and meat. I did not like meat, as a child. I ate like a bird but I loved milk, and I was only allowed one glass with a meal. I would have just been happy with the milk. Of course, being screamed and cussed at and thumped on the head while I ate by my biological father did not help me to enjoy my meal. Plus, we did not have much, if any, junk food in the house. We didn’t eat a lot of sweets. I remember shoplifting a pack of Bubble Yum bubblegum from our local supermarket, when I was 7 – the one time in my life I ever shoplifted, and I have felt guilty about that for 34 years. One day, I’m going back there, to Kingsville, Texas, and pay them the 25 cents I owe, with interest.
I remember getting home, going straight to my room and chewing every single piece of that gum, one after the other, as fast as I could, then burying the remnants of my chewing experience deep within the garbage, so no one would ever find it. Do you think I enjoyed that gum? I was scared to death someone was going to walk in and find me chewing, convict me of theft and lock me away forever. I mean, I was 7, and up to this point in my life, all I knew was that I’d get the @#$% beat of me for anything I did or didn’t do or anything my brother did. It was not a healthy home life. Let’s just leave it at that.
As I reached adulthood, I learned to cook foods that were healthy and I actually enjoyed eating. I cooked food the way I preferred them cooked, with as many sweets and junk food in my pantry as I could possibly ever consume. Then, I guess, psychologically, I ate the junk food as fast as I could, because I felt like it wasn’t going to last, as if someone was going to take it all away. So now, when I deprive myself of junk, like I have been doing mostly (but not consistently) during this diet, I go through this fit of “Aw, look at the chocolate. It beckons me. It taunts me. It calls to me. Maybe I’ll have just one taste. Ok, just a handful of Hershey’s kisses. Perhaps just half the bag.”
My daughter has never overdone it when it comes to eating, unless she’s going through a growth spurt, which she does quite frequently. She’s 10 and nearly as tall as my mother! The girl is thin and tall, and growing like a weed. I think she may even wind up being taller than me. She’s nearly five feet and 74 pounds. I wish I had her energy level! I wish I could just eat a little junk food and then put it back in the pantry like she does. I watch her and she doesn’t seem to have the need to overdo it on anything. I want to be like her when I grow up.
I wonder if she’ll always be this healthy. Hardly ever been sick, she was born at a healthy 9 lbs 13.5 ounces. She was nursed for the first 8 months - I’m positive this helped her in being a healthy kiddo. I was a sickly child, myself, having pneumonia twice and mononucleosis that I begged for death with. I had fevers of 106 degrees. She was a fat, healthy, happy, laughing baby. The happiest kid I’ve ever seen – probably because she knows how much she’s loved. She is my heart and she’s always known it. I’m sure that also helps her in being a healthy child. She’s never been deprived of food or love, so she doesn’t feel the need to overdo anything. I don’t really know why she is the way she is. I suppose God just made her that way.
She has indeed taught me many valuable lessons and I want to be more like her. Even when she gets disciplined or grounded, she takes it so well. She’s never been much of a pouter nor temper tantrum thrower, except for about 2 weeks when she was 3. I started by spanking her when she’d act out (a barbaric ritual I swore I’d never take part in) but she wouldn’t respond to physical pain. I’d even test pop myself to see how much it hurt before I popped her and OUCH! Quite a sting and I have a high threshold when it comes to pain. Well, hers is even higher than mine. So, she’d get in the floor, kicking and screaming, and I’d leave the room. I suppose she realized if no one was going to be in her audience, she had no need for a show, so 2 weeks of tantrums and she was done. She’s definitely not your typical kid. The girl is straight from Heaven, I tell you. I aspire to be more like her. Yes, I’m a proud Mama.
I wonder if any of you are trying to limit your food consumption. Are you trying to diet? Is anyone trying to increase your time in working out? I did spend some time on the treadmill. Not a lot and not every day. I start out the week feeling all gung ho, saying I’m going to increase my workouts daily and really, you are supposed to work out for 45 minutes without stopping to increase your metabolism and lose weight. It doesn’t work if you work out 20 minutes, take a break, and finish a few minutes later. You are supposed to keep your heart beating at a higher rate continuously for 45 minutes to attack the fat. This is what I’m reading in all the health and fitness journals - a minimum of 45 minutes. I don’t know about your schedule, but I know that if I got up early enough (and believe me, my sleep is important to me. One of my favorite hobbies is sleeping or maybe it is my all time favorite), I could squeeze 45 minutes of work out time into my daily schedule.
Sunday morning-
How’s the clutter freedom project going, you might ask? Well, the bathroom is still clean and clutter free. The kitchen was clean and clutter free and then Girl Scout cookies came in. Cases and cases of cookies everywhere! Now I get the joy of organizing them into bags and boxes and deliver them tomorrow. I will be happy to get the stacks of boxes out of my kitchen! I believe they’re reproducing. It’s amazing how much your mood can change from a clean and clutter free room to a cluttered up room. Sitting in the kitchen when it was clean was just a feeling of freedom and relaxation – joyful even. Now that all those boxes are stacked up in there just fill me with stress and anger. Got to get ‘em outta there!
Still not completely clutter free, though. Working on it in small amounts of time. Today will be a cleaning day. After the cookies are in the car tomorrow morning, the kitchen will be clean and clutter free again. I’ll be working in my bedroom today. The kiddo will be working in her room. Then, we’ll work together in the living room, if all goes according to plan. We do need to go over vacation plans with my mother some time today, after cooking some turkey bacon and Chocolate Ebelskivers for breakfast. Right now, the little one is sleeping in. I’m about to start working in the living room by myself until she wakes up.
So, today is Day 37 since I started this thing. Out of 7 rooms, 1 is finished, 2 will be sure to be clean and clutter-free tomorrow. 5 more to finish and the deadline is in 13 more days (started with 49).
I’ve lost a total of 4.5 lbs, so 173 to 168.5. Blegh! At least it’s not a gain from the original weight, so that’s how I’ll look at it. Trying to stay positive here. From 112 days in the beginning, I’m down to 76 days left or a little over 10 weeks. A loss of 4.5 lbs in 37 days is not great. Since I have a colonoscopy (YUCK!) appointment set for Friday and I have to start drinking nothing but this gallon of Blegh-Juice starting Thursday afternoon, I’ll have lost some more by Friday, for sure. Focusing on the positive, again. I’ve got to seek it out at times.
So, for this week, I’m not going to deprive myself but I’ve got to place daily portions of allowed treats in sandwich bags, so perhaps I won’t overdo. I need to up the work out regimen. I’ve truly failed in this department. I did work out some this past week, just not enough. I did not work out every single day and I need to. Hopefully, I’ll have better news next time. I’ll not say that I plan to, because the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I’ll just say I’ll put forth more of an effort to complete these daily tasks I’ve set for myself.
Ya know what? Perhaps I should use the daily treat portions as my reward for getting something done. Oh, good idea. When I get a room completely clean and clutter free, I can have my treats. When I work out for 45 minutes straight, I’ll have earned my treat bag. Now, my treat bags will consist of 2-3 Girl Scout cookies or 3-5 Hershey’s kisses, depending on the calories and fat. For the GS Do-si-dos, 2 cookies are a serving – 110 calories – 5g total fat – 16g carbs (OUCH!). I’ll have to check out how much fat and calories I can burn off in 45 minutes running & walking on the treadmill. Maybe I should stick to the Nilla Wafers?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Plan?
Ok, time to settle up. I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, although I did lose a couple of pounds this week, or 1.5, anyway. Not the 3+ I'd hoped for, but then I didn't follow the rules, either. I wanted to do a juice fast and I did for half a day and then half of another, and skipped a few meals from some anxiety I experienced earlier in the week (see http://2cupsojava.blogspot.com for details). I did not get the exercise I had planned for.
Plans - good things to schedule but half never see the light of day. I would love to share my To Do list with you but I'm sure you don't have all day to sit and read, so I'll skip it. Blegh! I have got to learn to just write perhaps 5 or 10 things per day that MUST BE DONE instead of filling up my entire 2 page per day planner sheets, knowning I'm not going to have time to get half that stuff done. Why do I do this to myself, I ask? Do I really believe that I have a week's worth of time during my 24 hour day? And a few of those hours are required to sleep, ya know? I aspire to be better at planning my days and weeks, more realistically, starting now, or after I finish my update.
There was a tailgate party/luncheon at work that I did not attend, due to my not wanting to pig out, seeing as how I have no restraint when it comes to a plethora of delicious, fragrant, enticing foods set out before me as an all-I-can-eat buffet. Better to not even look. So, I did good. No such thing as a taste - not for me. I'm an all or nothing kind of person when it comes to food. If it tastes good or looks good or smells good, I'm going for it, and not just for one little taste. I love to eat and no, I don't have to even be hungry. I enjoy flavor, aroma, presentation and it's close to impossible for me to resist temptation.
Down to 167.5 - not wonderful, but I'm not completely unhappy about it, seeing as it is a weight loss and at least it's going down, and not up or unbudging, which is surprising to me, as I did not get my exercise quota for the week, but I did keep the caloric intake to under 1200 calories per day throughout the week, until Friday, and then I was bad. Shall I share my weakness? Ok, it's all about honesty here...accountability for myself...
Ok, it was girls nite, which is Friday and we (my daughter, mom and I) have a weekly ritual of getting take out, some chick flicks and going to my mom's to catch up from the past week. I had said I'd pick them up something, stop at my house on the way over and get my fruit and yogurt out of the fridge for supper. Did I do this? Well, no. I started questioning, do I really want fruit and yogurt? I've done well this week. Do I deserve a treat? My daughter was all for it, saying "You do deserve to treat yourself. Get what you want. It's just one meal." So, I listened. Have I told you I'm weak? I got a Big Mac and fries. Probably the worst thing I could have ordered - EVER!
So, no treating myself anymore until (1) I have lost a total of 10 pounds and I really think I deserve one treat or (2) I have reached my goal and believe I can maintain it. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. This is harder than I thought it would be. And it's not fun. But that's ok. It's worth working hard for, so I'll not be treating myself, and I'll be working out more - these 2 things will be among my 5-10 things per day I MUST DO.
What about the clutter, you might ask? Well, the bathroom is still in tip-top shape. Keeping things clutter-free, dusted and shining in there. Kitchen WAS clean and organized but not so much this morning. Got a lot of cleaning in my day today. Going to work in the kitchen, my bedroom and the livingroom today, along with washing clothes, and the kiddo is going to help me, at least in the kitchen and putting up clean clothes.
Counting down, I have 20/83 days left to reach my goals. 20 days to reach my clutter-free zone and 83 days to get my rear in gear and go from 173 to 135 lbs. I totally believe that I can reach the clutter-free goal of 20 days. My main problem there is once I get the room clutter-free, keeping it that way. The kitchen was clutter-free and now I have stuff piled up.
The 83 days left for getting my rear in gear and losing (I've lost 5.5 lbs, so far) 32.5 pounds is sounding, well, improbable but I'm going to work my butt off every day of the week and see how close I can get.
So, the plan. We'll see if I can stick to the plan this week.
Plans - good things to schedule but half never see the light of day. I would love to share my To Do list with you but I'm sure you don't have all day to sit and read, so I'll skip it. Blegh! I have got to learn to just write perhaps 5 or 10 things per day that MUST BE DONE instead of filling up my entire 2 page per day planner sheets, knowning I'm not going to have time to get half that stuff done. Why do I do this to myself, I ask? Do I really believe that I have a week's worth of time during my 24 hour day? And a few of those hours are required to sleep, ya know? I aspire to be better at planning my days and weeks, more realistically, starting now, or after I finish my update.
There was a tailgate party/luncheon at work that I did not attend, due to my not wanting to pig out, seeing as how I have no restraint when it comes to a plethora of delicious, fragrant, enticing foods set out before me as an all-I-can-eat buffet. Better to not even look. So, I did good. No such thing as a taste - not for me. I'm an all or nothing kind of person when it comes to food. If it tastes good or looks good or smells good, I'm going for it, and not just for one little taste. I love to eat and no, I don't have to even be hungry. I enjoy flavor, aroma, presentation and it's close to impossible for me to resist temptation.
Down to 167.5 - not wonderful, but I'm not completely unhappy about it, seeing as it is a weight loss and at least it's going down, and not up or unbudging, which is surprising to me, as I did not get my exercise quota for the week, but I did keep the caloric intake to under 1200 calories per day throughout the week, until Friday, and then I was bad. Shall I share my weakness? Ok, it's all about honesty here...accountability for myself...
Ok, it was girls nite, which is Friday and we (my daughter, mom and I) have a weekly ritual of getting take out, some chick flicks and going to my mom's to catch up from the past week. I had said I'd pick them up something, stop at my house on the way over and get my fruit and yogurt out of the fridge for supper. Did I do this? Well, no. I started questioning, do I really want fruit and yogurt? I've done well this week. Do I deserve a treat? My daughter was all for it, saying "You do deserve to treat yourself. Get what you want. It's just one meal." So, I listened. Have I told you I'm weak? I got a Big Mac and fries. Probably the worst thing I could have ordered - EVER!
So, no treating myself anymore until (1) I have lost a total of 10 pounds and I really think I deserve one treat or (2) I have reached my goal and believe I can maintain it. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. This is harder than I thought it would be. And it's not fun. But that's ok. It's worth working hard for, so I'll not be treating myself, and I'll be working out more - these 2 things will be among my 5-10 things per day I MUST DO.
What about the clutter, you might ask? Well, the bathroom is still in tip-top shape. Keeping things clutter-free, dusted and shining in there. Kitchen WAS clean and organized but not so much this morning. Got a lot of cleaning in my day today. Going to work in the kitchen, my bedroom and the livingroom today, along with washing clothes, and the kiddo is going to help me, at least in the kitchen and putting up clean clothes.
Counting down, I have 20/83 days left to reach my goals. 20 days to reach my clutter-free zone and 83 days to get my rear in gear and go from 173 to 135 lbs. I totally believe that I can reach the clutter-free goal of 20 days. My main problem there is once I get the room clutter-free, keeping it that way. The kitchen was clutter-free and now I have stuff piled up.
The 83 days left for getting my rear in gear and losing (I've lost 5.5 lbs, so far) 32.5 pounds is sounding, well, improbable but I'm going to work my butt off every day of the week and see how close I can get.
So, the plan. We'll see if I can stick to the plan this week.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Stuck in the Middle with Me
I've read that creating a new habit takes 21 days to accomplish. Old habits are hard to break. I am a creature of habit. I never make it to the 7 days in a row, much less 21! 21 days!?? Really? If I could just try harder to do one good thing habitually for 21 days, I could create a new healthy habit. I'll have to try that...
Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? Breaking up is hard to do. Hard to get out of that comfort zone – what you’re used to, even if it’s not good for you.
I used to be a smoker. I smoked until I became pregnant with my daughter. Quitting wasn't the hardest thing to do, nor was it the easiest. But I had a higher reason than just for myself. Why is it we have such a hard time doing something good for ourselves? At least some of us do. Some of us cannot even manage doing something good and healthy for our kids. If I cared more about her future and her being clutter free, then I'd set the example, right? If I want her to have a healthy, fit future, then I'd be in prime shape, right? She is the perfect size and weight for her age - she's as healthy as they come and I used to be in perfect shape at 10, also. But then, at 29, I got married, by 30 I was pregnant and figured that meant I could eat whatever and however much my body craved. Well, only about half that gain left me when I downloaded my daughter and I hung on to the rest of the weight. Plus, part of it has crept back up on me. Go figure. Ok, it didn't creep in. Yeah - more like I ate my way back up and exercised less. At what point did I stop caring how I looked, how I felt, my energy level?
We treat ourselves and spoil ourselves with whatever we want to eat, whenever, however much we want, and then complain when we've gained 50 pounds, as if it's someone else's fault. They forced me to eat that! Right? So, now, we get the tumultuous task of slimming ourselves, placing ourselves on the treadmill, trying to run and shake the weight off as violently as we can, so that we can fit into that size 5 pair of jeans we've been holding on to for 10 years. Don't get defensive. I'm talking about me. We did this to ourselves and now, if we do actually make the choice to be healthier, then it is up to only ourselves to get back on track and get our rears in gear.
Tips to slim down:
*Half the portions than normally eaten. Cut it in half. A serving is flat as you
can get it and about the size of a deck of cards.
*Using a saucer rather than a lunch or dinner plate will help with this.
*No seconds.
*Cut back on the sugar. I didn't say you couldn't have any, but pace yourself.
*Remember the goal - every time you start to put something in your mouth - remember
the goal.
*Integrate healthier food items such as fruits, veggies, fish high in omega-3.
*Less or no red meat and
*Try switching to skim milk instead of 1%, 2% or whole milk.
I had a real problem when my mom first switched our family to skim. I think I was about 14. It was like drinking milky water. Wasn't happy about it but now, I LOVE IT and cannot go near whole milk ever again. I will drink 1% or 2% if the store is out of skim but I don't like it as well.
This past Friday marked the end of the first three weeks. Weighed in at 169, which is just not good at all, but at least I did not gain, which is what I was expecting. I was weak. We celebrated three birthdays at work and so, of course, everyone brought food. I made brownies. There was peach cobbler, fruit trifle, peanut butter rice krispie treats, pigs in blankets (which would make a great description of me on that day), deer sausage, lemon pie, m&ms, need I go on? I’m sure it’s not helping you to hear of these fantastically fattening foods, nor is it helping me. Looking back, I started out strong. I told myself I was going to drop off the brownies, come back later and sing happy bday and go back to my desk without food. I WAS going to be good. Then, I saw plates full of mouth-watering treats walking down the halls. I figured, “oh, one little taste won’t hurt.” That’s when I decided to sabotage my efforts. And no, I did not just get one little taste, either.
I met my best bud for breakfast this morning and I usually go all out on breakfast. You know, the 2 or 3 pancakes with blueberries on top, a couple of eggs over medium and a couple of strips of bacon on the side, with my oj and bottomless cup of coffee. Not today. I’d already reached my coffee quota before leaving home, so no more for the rest of the day. I planned to have a veggie omelet or something off the healthy part of the menu if there actually was such a thing, no bacon, no pancakes, just orange juice and something a little healthier to eat. I did good. Had a glass of oj and an egg substitute veggie omelet with fresh fruit on the side (they did have a healthy place on the menu).
I am a bit more clutter-free! My bathroom shines and sparkles. I took everything out of drawers, medicine cabinet, under-the-sink cabinet, everything off shelves. I not only scrubbed the toilet, sink and tub, but I scrubbed the walls, doors, floor and baseboards. I threw away old makeup, lipstick, eyeliner, etc. Just a side note regarding that. Makeup starts to grow bacteria after about 3 months of use, so it’s a good idea to throw out the stuff you know you have had at least that long or longer.
I’m a little pleased with myself for working on the clutter but not very proud of my weight-loss, nor my effort, nor my fitness level this week. I have no one to blame but me. I am going to try harder this week. It hasn’t helped that I haven’t tracked my calorie consumption for the last week. I’m sure that if I had, there would have been more weight lost this past week. Oh well, time to put on my big girl panties and deal with myself. The next post will be more positive, because I’m going to work harder on myself this week.
27 more days to be clutter free.
90 days to be fit and 135 (173-169=loss of 4 lbs total, and 169-135=losing 34 lbs in just a little over 12 weeks? Looks like I’m going to have to do a juice fast this week. I did this a few years ago and I lasted about 4 days. 4 pounds lost in 4 days. I went to a medical website and got the instructions. I only consumed water, fruit juice and vegetable juice. I made sure to get the juice 100% pure, not from concentrate – less sugar and preservatives. It was soooo hard to do but well worth it. Hunger pains stopped on the 3rd day. Lost weight, had the best sleep of my life on the 3rd night of the fast, and entered a state of euphoria and an energy surge on the 4th day. I’m going to try to do the fast for at least that long starting tomorrow, although hopefully for 5 days, then eating a small healthy meal on Friday night. Will let you know how it goes.
Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? Breaking up is hard to do. Hard to get out of that comfort zone – what you’re used to, even if it’s not good for you.
I used to be a smoker. I smoked until I became pregnant with my daughter. Quitting wasn't the hardest thing to do, nor was it the easiest. But I had a higher reason than just for myself. Why is it we have such a hard time doing something good for ourselves? At least some of us do. Some of us cannot even manage doing something good and healthy for our kids. If I cared more about her future and her being clutter free, then I'd set the example, right? If I want her to have a healthy, fit future, then I'd be in prime shape, right? She is the perfect size and weight for her age - she's as healthy as they come and I used to be in perfect shape at 10, also. But then, at 29, I got married, by 30 I was pregnant and figured that meant I could eat whatever and however much my body craved. Well, only about half that gain left me when I downloaded my daughter and I hung on to the rest of the weight. Plus, part of it has crept back up on me. Go figure. Ok, it didn't creep in. Yeah - more like I ate my way back up and exercised less. At what point did I stop caring how I looked, how I felt, my energy level?
We treat ourselves and spoil ourselves with whatever we want to eat, whenever, however much we want, and then complain when we've gained 50 pounds, as if it's someone else's fault. They forced me to eat that! Right? So, now, we get the tumultuous task of slimming ourselves, placing ourselves on the treadmill, trying to run and shake the weight off as violently as we can, so that we can fit into that size 5 pair of jeans we've been holding on to for 10 years. Don't get defensive. I'm talking about me. We did this to ourselves and now, if we do actually make the choice to be healthier, then it is up to only ourselves to get back on track and get our rears in gear.
Tips to slim down:
*Half the portions than normally eaten. Cut it in half. A serving is flat as you
can get it and about the size of a deck of cards.
*Using a saucer rather than a lunch or dinner plate will help with this.
*No seconds.
*Cut back on the sugar. I didn't say you couldn't have any, but pace yourself.
*Remember the goal - every time you start to put something in your mouth - remember
the goal.
*Integrate healthier food items such as fruits, veggies, fish high in omega-3.
*Less or no red meat and
*Try switching to skim milk instead of 1%, 2% or whole milk.
I had a real problem when my mom first switched our family to skim. I think I was about 14. It was like drinking milky water. Wasn't happy about it but now, I LOVE IT and cannot go near whole milk ever again. I will drink 1% or 2% if the store is out of skim but I don't like it as well.
This past Friday marked the end of the first three weeks. Weighed in at 169, which is just not good at all, but at least I did not gain, which is what I was expecting. I was weak. We celebrated three birthdays at work and so, of course, everyone brought food. I made brownies. There was peach cobbler, fruit trifle, peanut butter rice krispie treats, pigs in blankets (which would make a great description of me on that day), deer sausage, lemon pie, m&ms, need I go on? I’m sure it’s not helping you to hear of these fantastically fattening foods, nor is it helping me. Looking back, I started out strong. I told myself I was going to drop off the brownies, come back later and sing happy bday and go back to my desk without food. I WAS going to be good. Then, I saw plates full of mouth-watering treats walking down the halls. I figured, “oh, one little taste won’t hurt.” That’s when I decided to sabotage my efforts. And no, I did not just get one little taste, either.
I met my best bud for breakfast this morning and I usually go all out on breakfast. You know, the 2 or 3 pancakes with blueberries on top, a couple of eggs over medium and a couple of strips of bacon on the side, with my oj and bottomless cup of coffee. Not today. I’d already reached my coffee quota before leaving home, so no more for the rest of the day. I planned to have a veggie omelet or something off the healthy part of the menu if there actually was such a thing, no bacon, no pancakes, just orange juice and something a little healthier to eat. I did good. Had a glass of oj and an egg substitute veggie omelet with fresh fruit on the side (they did have a healthy place on the menu).
I am a bit more clutter-free! My bathroom shines and sparkles. I took everything out of drawers, medicine cabinet, under-the-sink cabinet, everything off shelves. I not only scrubbed the toilet, sink and tub, but I scrubbed the walls, doors, floor and baseboards. I threw away old makeup, lipstick, eyeliner, etc. Just a side note regarding that. Makeup starts to grow bacteria after about 3 months of use, so it’s a good idea to throw out the stuff you know you have had at least that long or longer.
I’m a little pleased with myself for working on the clutter but not very proud of my weight-loss, nor my effort, nor my fitness level this week. I have no one to blame but me. I am going to try harder this week. It hasn’t helped that I haven’t tracked my calorie consumption for the last week. I’m sure that if I had, there would have been more weight lost this past week. Oh well, time to put on my big girl panties and deal with myself. The next post will be more positive, because I’m going to work harder on myself this week.
27 more days to be clutter free.
90 days to be fit and 135 (173-169=loss of 4 lbs total, and 169-135=losing 34 lbs in just a little over 12 weeks? Looks like I’m going to have to do a juice fast this week. I did this a few years ago and I lasted about 4 days. 4 pounds lost in 4 days. I went to a medical website and got the instructions. I only consumed water, fruit juice and vegetable juice. I made sure to get the juice 100% pure, not from concentrate – less sugar and preservatives. It was soooo hard to do but well worth it. Hunger pains stopped on the 3rd day. Lost weight, had the best sleep of my life on the 3rd night of the fast, and entered a state of euphoria and an energy surge on the 4th day. I’m going to try to do the fast for at least that long starting tomorrow, although hopefully for 5 days, then eating a small healthy meal on Friday night. Will let you know how it goes.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Little Bummed...
Wow, this past Thursday, I had done so well. I actually reached 165 - a total loss of 8 pounds in almost 2 weeks! I couldn't believe it. Mostly due to cutting back on sugar and saying NO to the doughnuts a co-worker brought for breakfast, plus counting the daily calories of everything I put into my mouth, trying to keep it down to around 1200.
THEN, Aunt Flo from Red China decides to pay me an unexpected visit, causing me to put on several pounds of that glorious water weight we females just love. Thanks, Aunt Flo! 'preciate it! So, now I'm back up to a hefty 171. Ain't that a *B*? I tried a diuretic to download some of it, but just didn't do the trick. I did not even give any thought to how 'Aunt Flo' might possibly put a kink in my plans.
That's life, as they say. Could be worse, I suppose. It can always be worse, huh? I could be miserably depressed, just throw my hands up in the air and give up, but that would be a weak, very unfollowthru thing to do, now wouldn't it? And I am trying to learn how to be a stronger-minded, more follow-thru kind of person. A thinner, healthier me. A clutter-free, flat-bellied me. So, not giving up today. I'll just deal with Aunt Flo and go about eating my 1200 cals a day, even though I'd kill for a Hershey bar or that bag of kisses in the pantry.
Why is it we crave chocolate more during these times? I actually read that it's caused by a lack of magnesium in our blood, creating the crave for chocolate, which is chock full of magnesium, but the flavor and euphoria it gives us ain't bad, either.
I've noticed since cutting down on the sugar, my face is much clearer. Yes, I'm 41 and I continue to struggle with acne. You'd think once the teen years pass, you wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. WRONG! At least cutting back on sugar is helping, plus drinking more water. And I'm sure eating healthier is helping a bit, too.
The plan for the week is to work my buns on the treadmill and to several aerobix tapes and perhaps I'll throw in my yoga tape for a day. I'll be setting up my weight bench and doing some flies, curls, side lifts, etc., to strengthen my arms, so - when I stop waving, my arms stop flapping in the breeze. I tell ya, a strong wind is gonna swing through and I will take flight with the wings of my arms! Might sound kind o' cool, but it AIN'T. I'm too young to have granny-arms and it's time to rid myself of those suckers.
Must admit, have not done my exercising for this week. My bad, I know. As of now, I suppose I'm back at just losing a total of 2 lbs. (173 to 171). I'll be back on track after Aunt Flo LEAVES!
A little tip for those of you that would like to cut the calories but still have yummy snacks. We LOVE Oscar Mayer turkey bacon! Do you know that it's only like 35 calories per slice? Plus, the Special K chocolatey pretzel bars, I could OD on, and they're only 90 per bar. The Fire Roasted Tomato Triscuits are so FINE and they are about 120 calories for 6 crackers. I've gotten several people at work addicted to these. I love snacking on Honey Wheat pretzel rods and you can have 10 of them for around 110 calories. And, of course, the Activia yogurt is 120 calories per cup.
I thought it would be challenging to keep my calorie quota down to 1200 per day, but it's a lot like budgeting money. When you are trying to track your monthly expenses to enlighten you on where all your money is going, you write down every cent when you spend it. The date, the amount of money spent and what you are purchasing. I did this one month a few years ago when I couldn't figure out where all my money was going. Come to find out, I was spending over $300 a month at one particular coffee house. Yes, I'm a coffee junkie and no, I'm not giving it up but I've cut back considerably. I wasn't just buying breve lattes and cappuccino. I was buying fruit & yogurt parfaits with homemade granola for breakfast and veggie burger wraps at lunch. This was a valuable lesson in spending and I cut out the breakfast and lunch buying (brought lunch from home instead) and limited myself on the coffee consumption (from a pot a day to about 3-6 cups at home or work = free). I do still have my occasional breve', but only once or twice a week.
As for the clutter, my office is still not finished. Must admit, I have not been working on this daily. No good excuse. I could say I haven't had the time, with working full-time, coming home to cooking supper, cleaning the kitchen, helping with homework, etc., quality time with my daughter, but that would not be truthful. The fact is, I have not MADE time. I usually try to get up around 3am. Yes, I said 3am. I'm usually so worn out with my STRESSFUL job (more like stressful people!), that we go to bed around 8 or 830pm (depending on homework load and amount of studying needed), which allows me enough sleep to get up earlier, but haven't done that enough this past week to get much accomplished. I have invested a little bit of time, so at least my kitchen is organized, my bedroom is more organized and my office is coming along. Still need to go thru the cabinets in the bathroom and throw some stuff out, put up some things in the living room, work in the laundry room/storage room and my daughter's room is more organized. She did a good job! Donated several items to Goodwill. Office still needs some quality time.
Counting down, today makes the 15th day since starting this project, so I have 35 days left to be clutter free (started with 49) and 98 days left to get fit and weigh 135 lbs (started with 112 days and 173 lbs). Can she do it? I ask myself that every day...
Ok. Yes, I can and Yes, I will. Pressing on...
THEN, Aunt Flo from Red China decides to pay me an unexpected visit, causing me to put on several pounds of that glorious water weight we females just love. Thanks, Aunt Flo! 'preciate it! So, now I'm back up to a hefty 171. Ain't that a *B*? I tried a diuretic to download some of it, but just didn't do the trick. I did not even give any thought to how 'Aunt Flo' might possibly put a kink in my plans.
That's life, as they say. Could be worse, I suppose. It can always be worse, huh? I could be miserably depressed, just throw my hands up in the air and give up, but that would be a weak, very unfollowthru thing to do, now wouldn't it? And I am trying to learn how to be a stronger-minded, more follow-thru kind of person. A thinner, healthier me. A clutter-free, flat-bellied me. So, not giving up today. I'll just deal with Aunt Flo and go about eating my 1200 cals a day, even though I'd kill for a Hershey bar or that bag of kisses in the pantry.
Why is it we crave chocolate more during these times? I actually read that it's caused by a lack of magnesium in our blood, creating the crave for chocolate, which is chock full of magnesium, but the flavor and euphoria it gives us ain't bad, either.
I've noticed since cutting down on the sugar, my face is much clearer. Yes, I'm 41 and I continue to struggle with acne. You'd think once the teen years pass, you wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. WRONG! At least cutting back on sugar is helping, plus drinking more water. And I'm sure eating healthier is helping a bit, too.
The plan for the week is to work my buns on the treadmill and to several aerobix tapes and perhaps I'll throw in my yoga tape for a day. I'll be setting up my weight bench and doing some flies, curls, side lifts, etc., to strengthen my arms, so - when I stop waving, my arms stop flapping in the breeze. I tell ya, a strong wind is gonna swing through and I will take flight with the wings of my arms! Might sound kind o' cool, but it AIN'T. I'm too young to have granny-arms and it's time to rid myself of those suckers.
Must admit, have not done my exercising for this week. My bad, I know. As of now, I suppose I'm back at just losing a total of 2 lbs. (173 to 171). I'll be back on track after Aunt Flo LEAVES!
A little tip for those of you that would like to cut the calories but still have yummy snacks. We LOVE Oscar Mayer turkey bacon! Do you know that it's only like 35 calories per slice? Plus, the Special K chocolatey pretzel bars, I could OD on, and they're only 90 per bar. The Fire Roasted Tomato Triscuits are so FINE and they are about 120 calories for 6 crackers. I've gotten several people at work addicted to these. I love snacking on Honey Wheat pretzel rods and you can have 10 of them for around 110 calories. And, of course, the Activia yogurt is 120 calories per cup.
I thought it would be challenging to keep my calorie quota down to 1200 per day, but it's a lot like budgeting money. When you are trying to track your monthly expenses to enlighten you on where all your money is going, you write down every cent when you spend it. The date, the amount of money spent and what you are purchasing. I did this one month a few years ago when I couldn't figure out where all my money was going. Come to find out, I was spending over $300 a month at one particular coffee house. Yes, I'm a coffee junkie and no, I'm not giving it up but I've cut back considerably. I wasn't just buying breve lattes and cappuccino. I was buying fruit & yogurt parfaits with homemade granola for breakfast and veggie burger wraps at lunch. This was a valuable lesson in spending and I cut out the breakfast and lunch buying (brought lunch from home instead) and limited myself on the coffee consumption (from a pot a day to about 3-6 cups at home or work = free). I do still have my occasional breve', but only once or twice a week.
As for the clutter, my office is still not finished. Must admit, I have not been working on this daily. No good excuse. I could say I haven't had the time, with working full-time, coming home to cooking supper, cleaning the kitchen, helping with homework, etc., quality time with my daughter, but that would not be truthful. The fact is, I have not MADE time. I usually try to get up around 3am. Yes, I said 3am. I'm usually so worn out with my STRESSFUL job (more like stressful people!), that we go to bed around 8 or 830pm (depending on homework load and amount of studying needed), which allows me enough sleep to get up earlier, but haven't done that enough this past week to get much accomplished. I have invested a little bit of time, so at least my kitchen is organized, my bedroom is more organized and my office is coming along. Still need to go thru the cabinets in the bathroom and throw some stuff out, put up some things in the living room, work in the laundry room/storage room and my daughter's room is more organized. She did a good job! Donated several items to Goodwill. Office still needs some quality time.
Counting down, today makes the 15th day since starting this project, so I have 35 days left to be clutter free (started with 49) and 98 days left to get fit and weigh 135 lbs (started with 112 days and 173 lbs). Can she do it? I ask myself that every day...
Ok. Yes, I can and Yes, I will. Pressing on...
Friday, January 15, 2010
I'm so excited!
And I just can't hide it! I cooked up some Salmon Croquettes the other night and really thought I'd gained back half a pound the way I shoveled 'em in. I was soooo hungry. The little one was, too, and they were de-lish. I didn't want to get on the scale this morning and I'm sure the scale didn't want me to, either, but it said, happily, that I lost! YES! Ok, not feeling like such a complete failure for a change. Maybe I can actually do this?
Since I started this blog a few days ago, I'm more mindful of how much I weigh EACH DAY, even though everyone tells you not to do that. It's the only way I can control the numbers. If I gain, then I make myself eat less. If I lose, I either continue to eat less or at least count my calories thru the day. I don't count the fat and sugar grams so much, as I do the calories. I just don't have the time to check every little thing. Plus, I'm drinking a lot more water. I don't normally get my 8 glasses of 8oz daily, but I am drinking more, which helps me fill up faster, so I'm not as hungry throughout the day - I'm snacking less, but still snacking. ;)
Wanted to share a couple of nice snack items for when you are hungry throughout the day. The Special K Chocolatey Pretzel bar is OUT OF THIS WORLD and it's only 90 calories - Awesome! The kiddo and I both love them for breakfast-on-the-run, snack, dessert, whatever - sooo yummy. Also, a handful of raw almonds a day is great for you. I try not to totally freak when I see the number of calories of fat content if I know it's healthy for my body. The almonds are also quite filling, even if it is just one handful. Kids love them, too.
Exercise? Don’t get me started on this one. I’ve been a bad girl. So, whoop me.
Clutter-free? No, not yet, but still working on it. It’s so hard to get up early in the morning but now that my daughter’s spelling bee is over, no more late nights studying over 300 words – some I’ve never even heard of!
So, for the record, I did cheat. I made a deal with myself to not have choc till I lost 5 lbs. Then, I’d allow myself a bite, like a kiss or a miniature or choc covered toffee, choc covered cherry – a bite. I admit, I had 2 pieces…YES! 2 PIECES, OK?! …of choc covered toffee. I felt guilty but it was sure FINE! ;) I tell you, I could have eaten that whole honkin’ bag, but I did NOT. I was feeling depressed like I let myself down and weighed in this morning and actually LOST???!! I have lost 2.5 lbs for this week, which isn’t the 3 lbs I wanted to lose but I did make myself a deal that it could be 2.5 to 3 lbs per week, so I’m on schedule. Yes, I could have lost 3 had I not chowed down on all the Salmon Croquettes and 2 pieces of choc covered toffee. I will do better. I will integrate more time to exercise and clean out the clutter. I have cleared a lot in my office and at least my kitchen is clutter-free!!
Let’s see now: 42 more days to go to be clutter-free. 105 more days to weigh in at 135 (now 170.5) and have a more toned bod. I can do this. I can do this. I can...do...this.
Since I started this blog a few days ago, I'm more mindful of how much I weigh EACH DAY, even though everyone tells you not to do that. It's the only way I can control the numbers. If I gain, then I make myself eat less. If I lose, I either continue to eat less or at least count my calories thru the day. I don't count the fat and sugar grams so much, as I do the calories. I just don't have the time to check every little thing. Plus, I'm drinking a lot more water. I don't normally get my 8 glasses of 8oz daily, but I am drinking more, which helps me fill up faster, so I'm not as hungry throughout the day - I'm snacking less, but still snacking. ;)
Wanted to share a couple of nice snack items for when you are hungry throughout the day. The Special K Chocolatey Pretzel bar is OUT OF THIS WORLD and it's only 90 calories - Awesome! The kiddo and I both love them for breakfast-on-the-run, snack, dessert, whatever - sooo yummy. Also, a handful of raw almonds a day is great for you. I try not to totally freak when I see the number of calories of fat content if I know it's healthy for my body. The almonds are also quite filling, even if it is just one handful. Kids love them, too.
Exercise? Don’t get me started on this one. I’ve been a bad girl. So, whoop me.
Clutter-free? No, not yet, but still working on it. It’s so hard to get up early in the morning but now that my daughter’s spelling bee is over, no more late nights studying over 300 words – some I’ve never even heard of!
So, for the record, I did cheat. I made a deal with myself to not have choc till I lost 5 lbs. Then, I’d allow myself a bite, like a kiss or a miniature or choc covered toffee, choc covered cherry – a bite. I admit, I had 2 pieces…YES! 2 PIECES, OK?! …of choc covered toffee. I felt guilty but it was sure FINE! ;) I tell you, I could have eaten that whole honkin’ bag, but I did NOT. I was feeling depressed like I let myself down and weighed in this morning and actually LOST???!! I have lost 2.5 lbs for this week, which isn’t the 3 lbs I wanted to lose but I did make myself a deal that it could be 2.5 to 3 lbs per week, so I’m on schedule. Yes, I could have lost 3 had I not chowed down on all the Salmon Croquettes and 2 pieces of choc covered toffee. I will do better. I will integrate more time to exercise and clean out the clutter. I have cleared a lot in my office and at least my kitchen is clutter-free!!
Let’s see now: 42 more days to go to be clutter-free. 105 more days to weigh in at 135 (now 170.5) and have a more toned bod. I can do this. I can do this. I can...do...this.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Was discouraged but back on track today
It's the fourth day into this thing and, yesterday, I was feeling a little down. I had gained 1/2 a pound back. Perhaps not a big deal to you. I mean, it's just 1/2 a pound, right? Well, it was due to my fat-filled 3 meals on Sunday and I paid for it. I knew better.
I didn't make time for exercising nor cleaning yesterday. Didn't get up early enough and had too much to do with the kiddo in the evening. Aren't Mondays the worst? Oh well.
I'm back on track, sort of, this morning. I lost the 1/2 a pound, since I skimped on breakfast and supper yesterday. I had a decent lunch, so now, back at 171 and will work hard to hit 170 by Friday, since my goal is 2.5 to 3 pounds per week. I feel like I can do it, especially since I'm giving myself enough time to get there. I mean, I've got 3 more days to lose one pound. I believe that's totally doable. I'll get my rear in gear tonight. Cleaned some more of the office. My daughter is very impressed with how much I've done. She offered me a compliment and I must say, it was very reassuring, which helps A TON! Positive feedback is always welcome and uplifting.
Looking forward to today while I've already had my 180 calorie breakfast plus my coffee, perhaps a packet of ketchup for lunch and nibbling on a paper towel for fiber for supper. I'm so jealous that my daughter gets to eat these delicious meals that I so enjoy cooking, while savoring the aromas, DO NOT GET TO HELP HER EAT! ~sniff~ That's ok. ~sniff~ She's not the one who needs to suffer. I've spent years of overeating, eating junk, and not exercising, so I should not complain that I've placed myself in this predicament. Right? Right. So, sucking it up and moving on.
Four more days to get my office organized? Hope I can do it.
I didn't make time for exercising nor cleaning yesterday. Didn't get up early enough and had too much to do with the kiddo in the evening. Aren't Mondays the worst? Oh well.
I'm back on track, sort of, this morning. I lost the 1/2 a pound, since I skimped on breakfast and supper yesterday. I had a decent lunch, so now, back at 171 and will work hard to hit 170 by Friday, since my goal is 2.5 to 3 pounds per week. I feel like I can do it, especially since I'm giving myself enough time to get there. I mean, I've got 3 more days to lose one pound. I believe that's totally doable. I'll get my rear in gear tonight. Cleaned some more of the office. My daughter is very impressed with how much I've done. She offered me a compliment and I must say, it was very reassuring, which helps A TON! Positive feedback is always welcome and uplifting.
Looking forward to today while I've already had my 180 calorie breakfast plus my coffee, perhaps a packet of ketchup for lunch and nibbling on a paper towel for fiber for supper. I'm so jealous that my daughter gets to eat these delicious meals that I so enjoy cooking, while savoring the aromas, DO NOT GET TO HELP HER EAT! ~sniff~ That's ok. ~sniff~ She's not the one who needs to suffer. I've spent years of overeating, eating junk, and not exercising, so I should not complain that I've placed myself in this predicament. Right? Right. So, sucking it up and moving on.
Four more days to get my office organized? Hope I can do it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 2 - On a roll. Can I have a roll?
No, I did not have a roll.
I have done fairly well today. I beat down the scale and although it did gasp for air, it didn't scream for me to get off this time. Down 2 pounds. Probably water weight, but hey, weight is weight and I'll take it.
A fat-filled breakfast - one french toast and 2 pieces of bacon, which is better than my normal 2 pieces of FT and 7 pieces of bacon. And, of course, my coffee. Not too bad, though.
Panini for lunch - YUM! Me loves me some panini. Made me a happy camper. Wanted chocolate but did not weaken, yet. So far, so good.
Chili for sup and glass of skim milk. Don't worry, no chocolate syrup.
And I did do the small glass of milk and cup of blueberry yogurt for supper last night. Tasty. Not exactly a Big Mac & fries or easy peasy cheesy pizza or chicken piccata (my all time fave), but I still enjoyed my yogurt. I'm so proud, I actually removed the Kisses from my desk and placed them in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind, a little. Choc never strays far from the mind but it is much better to not see it. You always think about your drug.
We (the kiddo joined in) added 5 minutes to the workout doing our 25 dancing and pumping to MTV's The Grind Workout Hip Hop Aerobics. I had not done aerobics in so long, I'd forgotten how much fun it was. At least, the Grind tapes are. Fun for the both of us and getting our rears in gear at the same time, although the little one does not need any help in that department. Thin, tall thing!
Tomorrow, I'm thinking maybe Buns and Abs of Steel? Or maybe something different. We'll see. And I'll do my best to steer clear of any chocolate, k?
Cleaned some more in the office today. It's so freeing to throw out the junk. I feel so much lighter already, just because the room is less full. So far, I've thrown away about 4 or 5 kitchen garbage bags full and I'm now working on a construction garbage bag and it's about 1/3 parts full.
Putting things in their places. Tossing out the superfluous papers I know I don't need, donating things to the Goodwill bags (we dropped off 3 bags on Saturday) in the hallway. I need to go through these two bookcases along with the stacks of books on each side and donate what I no longer need.
I cannot believe what a packrat I am. I know partly what it stems from - my childhood and my biological father stealing many valuables from my room when he left us, my brother reading my diary and making it a public spectacle, so now I suppose I just want to cling to things that are mine and no one can take away from me? Oh, I don't know. Makes no sense. I'm so scared I'm going to miss something, something I wrote on a piece of paper, and another piece, and another, so I have to keep them all, adding up to a stockpile of heaping stacks of paper monsters that I am very nightmarish over attacking me when I walk past, or since they do reproduce, they'll eventually make it to my bedroom and get me in my sleep! Ok, maybe I was melodramatic just a bit, but I do save needless things, papers, catalogs, magazines, so many things that just add to my already bulging and overflowing baggage, more to stress me, more, more, more - this girl needs HELP!
Well, that's exactly why I'm doing this. I've devised a plan, albeit flying by the seat of my pants, mostly. I'm taking teensy baby steps each day to lose weight, get in shape, get my house organized and blog about it, which is actually therapeutic in a way. Perhaps only one or two peeps will read it and that's ok. It's my way of downloading some of my baggage, I suppose. I'm feeling better already.
C-ya 2 morrow. Nighty night.
I have done fairly well today. I beat down the scale and although it did gasp for air, it didn't scream for me to get off this time. Down 2 pounds. Probably water weight, but hey, weight is weight and I'll take it.
A fat-filled breakfast - one french toast and 2 pieces of bacon, which is better than my normal 2 pieces of FT and 7 pieces of bacon. And, of course, my coffee. Not too bad, though.
Panini for lunch - YUM! Me loves me some panini. Made me a happy camper. Wanted chocolate but did not weaken, yet. So far, so good.
Chili for sup and glass of skim milk. Don't worry, no chocolate syrup.
And I did do the small glass of milk and cup of blueberry yogurt for supper last night. Tasty. Not exactly a Big Mac & fries or easy peasy cheesy pizza or chicken piccata (my all time fave), but I still enjoyed my yogurt. I'm so proud, I actually removed the Kisses from my desk and placed them in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind, a little. Choc never strays far from the mind but it is much better to not see it. You always think about your drug.
We (the kiddo joined in) added 5 minutes to the workout doing our 25 dancing and pumping to MTV's The Grind Workout Hip Hop Aerobics. I had not done aerobics in so long, I'd forgotten how much fun it was. At least, the Grind tapes are. Fun for the both of us and getting our rears in gear at the same time, although the little one does not need any help in that department. Thin, tall thing!
Tomorrow, I'm thinking maybe Buns and Abs of Steel? Or maybe something different. We'll see. And I'll do my best to steer clear of any chocolate, k?
Cleaned some more in the office today. It's so freeing to throw out the junk. I feel so much lighter already, just because the room is less full. So far, I've thrown away about 4 or 5 kitchen garbage bags full and I'm now working on a construction garbage bag and it's about 1/3 parts full.
Putting things in their places. Tossing out the superfluous papers I know I don't need, donating things to the Goodwill bags (we dropped off 3 bags on Saturday) in the hallway. I need to go through these two bookcases along with the stacks of books on each side and donate what I no longer need.
I cannot believe what a packrat I am. I know partly what it stems from - my childhood and my biological father stealing many valuables from my room when he left us, my brother reading my diary and making it a public spectacle, so now I suppose I just want to cling to things that are mine and no one can take away from me? Oh, I don't know. Makes no sense. I'm so scared I'm going to miss something, something I wrote on a piece of paper, and another piece, and another, so I have to keep them all, adding up to a stockpile of heaping stacks of paper monsters that I am very nightmarish over attacking me when I walk past, or since they do reproduce, they'll eventually make it to my bedroom and get me in my sleep! Ok, maybe I was melodramatic just a bit, but I do save needless things, papers, catalogs, magazines, so many things that just add to my already bulging and overflowing baggage, more to stress me, more, more, more - this girl needs HELP!
Well, that's exactly why I'm doing this. I've devised a plan, albeit flying by the seat of my pants, mostly. I'm taking teensy baby steps each day to lose weight, get in shape, get my house organized and blog about it, which is actually therapeutic in a way. Perhaps only one or two peeps will read it and that's ok. It's my way of downloading some of my baggage, I suppose. I'm feeling better already.
C-ya 2 morrow. Nighty night.
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